Tosin followed me on IG. Upon first glance, he was just my type! Deep dark skin, a pretty white smile, big broad shoulders and biceps that made his shirts all right. God, my thighs are squeezed tight just thinking about it. I got so excited that I even forgot my rule that I should never, under any circumstance, give a man a chance who only takes pictures in sunglasses or without looking into the camera.
He seemed so full of life and funny from his insta so when he messaged me Tuesday afternoon and asked what my plans for the evening were, I figured I could abbreviate my regular gym plan and go meet up. He wanted to be spontaneous, I’d indulge him. He suggested Starving Artist, I knew he lived within 5 minutes of the place, probably the complex of an old ex of mine.
I get there first because we’re both running behind. I grab a water at the bar and wait until he walks in. It kind of irks me that I’m waiting at for at least ten minutes when I can just imagine he was down the street.
I knew within 5 seconds I wasn’t physically attracted to him. There’s something about sunglasses or hats that always makes someone look better. I am so rusty that I forgot. I have been looking for guy friends though, maybe that would work? Let’s summarize what happened on the date.
- He didn’t really ask me anything about myself
- He did not offer to grab me a slice of pizza even though he knew I had just left the gym
- He (at my insistence. To be fair he did say it was not appropriate) told me that where I am from in Nigeria has a stereotype that the women know how to fuck well.
- He invited me over to his place after my one drink to go play games
- Confirmed he lived in the apartment I assumed
- Made an argument that soccer players are the only true athletes and that adults could learn any other sport in adulthood without ever playing before and excel.
I don’t know if it’s boredom or my new drought or the fact that I’m getting antsy that has made me seek out new men in my life. My 32nd birthday is around the corner and I did restart my favorite show, Sex and the City. I used to go on dates and makeout and flirt and make crazy love and then breakup and do it all over again with a new, better guy and that just all stopped. Part of it was because I wanted a serious relationship and the guys that wanted me didn’t think we were compatible.
Now I’m just asking for some company and absolutely no one fits. They are either way too crass or boring (like Tosin) or they wanna get married tomorrow. We can’t just cupcake on the phone, grab drinks and flirt all night then we see if we wanna go home with each other? I am having very similar issues I had at 22 except the guys can’t even perform a successful first date anymore.
I’m just not having a good time and I have tried in vain to find it. I can’t even go back to any old flings because they have all pissed me off so royally, they don’t deserve to speak to me let alone touch me. So what’s a girl to do?
