My girl Kimmy sent me this trend on TikTok so I made one but I thought this would make a great reflection blog because in 2022, I experienced the best and the worst!
So the apps are getting… worse? Or maybe my tolerance has diminished into nothing. Hinge is still going to be my favorite app out of all of them. So what if the guys are more boring than a waiting room and have the manners of barn animals. 1 out of 1,000 of them are going to be attractive, have a real job, and is capable of asking you an intelligent question. Those are far better odds than the guys I come across on Bumble (infested with conservative men in Phoenix) or Tinder (the European guys were devastatingly hot on there) and any new app that pops up (Iris, FB Dating, happn just leave em alone). You have to ask yourself “what normally adjusted man is going to be on there?” Zero. Unless he’s getting paid. Overall, it’s just these guys are disgustingly horny, bland, and generally underwhelming. I was better off sitting alone at bars and flirting.
I went speed dating twice this year so it inflated these numbers a bit but I’m still going to count them. You go on eight 7-minute dates with men you’re not compatible with in succession and tell me you don’t feel drained. It was a little concerning (and yet refreshing) that I only went on four 2nd dates and one 3rd date this year. For one, it seems like I know what I want. On the other hand, it’s not in abundance like I had hoped. I have a feeling we’re going to be exploring that a lot this year but that’s a blog post for future HB.
“Siri, please play ‘Pimpin All Over the World’ by Ludacris” I’m kidding but it was so much fun to date outside of Phoenix! Most of the guys here are transplants anyway and I have to do all the heavy lifting. From hopping out of Uber Blacks to the Met or clinking together freshly poured Guinness, I truly enjoyed princess treatment in every other city but my own. I’m gonna start lying about being a native and see what happens.
Men are just always gonna have the audacity. Unattractive, successful, it doesn’t matter. They will try you! I’ve been trying to curse people out less but I really think some of these guys deserve it. Shoutout to the cute firefighter and sexy ass business dude I dated this year that were so incredibly sweet with me.
Most of the guys they just knew we weren’t compatible or I had to send the “it’s me not you” text. Guys are still doing that weird ass shit where they fade out and yet still want to follow you on social media. They are my adoring fans so I can’t be too mad but it’s strange. You had a shot and you don’t wanna use it? Finally, I got ghosted three times this year and they cut me the deepest!
The thing about a ghost is that they always reappear. It may not be next week or even next month but the moment you don’t think about him anymore and you’re living life happily, he will pop up in a way that makes you chuckle. Theo was like the epitome of romance. Every text message made me feel like I was in a romance novel. Add me flying out or the very thought out dates and yeah, that was going to feel like a whirlwind. I know I’m a liar because if (when) he ever popped back up, I’m gonna at least entertain it a little, at least just to hear what pretty bullshit he would spout this time. What can I say, we know I’m a glutton.
My body reacted to Shane, like primally. But my guardian angel decided to step in because right as I was going to sleep with that man he ghosted me. Coming off of Theo, I wanted devotion and passion and heat! So when Shane DM’d me at 3AM some random Saturday night, I gave him shit because it was bold and stupid. The thing about requiring a man to do a little more work before you let him sleep with you, is that you can see just how much effort he’s gonna put in. Shane’s lack of effort let me know I had more disappointing nights in store for me. He now just likes my IG pics.
And good ol Evan. After that HR ass breakup text and him unfollowing me on social media, I’m thinking that’s it. But then! I log into TikTok and see I have a new follower, him. And it’s probably my almost healed ego talking but that definitely still feels unresolved. The universe is testing me, seeing if I’m really about all this shit I talk. Let’s hope I’m distracted.
Kameron, Evan (pt 1) Shaggy, and Adonis lol how could I say no? Each ended up horribly. Sometimes the past belongs in the past.
I can’t complain, 2022 was a blast. I learned so much and challenged myself. May 2023 bring much more romance, lots more laughter, some more friends, and the best food to date. Love you!