Brett

Restaurant Rating: ⚓️⚓️⚓️ out of 5. When I was working in old town in my early 20s @themontaukaz was a treat because lobster was expensive af and you don’t wanna rush the 45 minutes you get for lunch (wow I was in hell). On Cinco de Mayo it was PACKED so nostalgia is holding us down here. It’s cute in there though. It’s really like you’re in some Maine yacht club.

Date Rating: 🔥🔥 out of 5. I was gonna wait to post this but I’m pretty sure I’m being ghosted. Brett was a short king, an engineer, super into music, and looked really cool. We were bonding over our hobbies and I adored that he called me before bed. When he suggested a date at the ballet two weeks in advance, dead butterflies started to resurrect. A dream date! Everyone said I was crazy for waiting two weeks to meet him. I thought it was romantic; I liked the anticipation. Until I was in the office for Cinco and he suggested I meet him for a drink before I met my friends. I don’t do well with spontaneity before I know someone but hey, I’m trying to be less rigid. I agreed. A mistake. I had to change in the office. I had packed a very non-work appropriate outfit for the bars because I was planning on dancing and flirting all night. Not only could my bosses potentially see me sneaking out the office in it but I didn’t want my first impression with Brett to be solely based on my body. Luckily I had a t-shirt in my car, I changed. It’s one drink, I can be casual for once. 

He’s gotta be high as a kite, his eyes are half closed lol the date goes really well though. We’re both laughing, talking about our rival schools and how different our families are. He’s surprised I’m from Phoenix because he says all the locals he’s met are WEIRD but won’t explain what that means. I’m having a good time and usually when I’m having this much fun, I’d kiss him goodbye. In this case I could not because he doesn’t floss. Ever.  I’m not really a stickler about teeth but I do think a corporate employed 30 yr old should get his regular cleanings. Or at the very least get a quip toothbrush and shake that shit off. Sometimes ghosting works because I can’t imagine dodging a kiss because I can visibly see plaque. Groupon has cleanings for $40, the cost of our drinks. Best of luck.