August

Restaurants Rating: 🥓🥓🥓 out of 5. The Tuck Shop is near my old stomping grounds so it felt like home 🙂 the cocktails are amazing and their food is alright. The best part though is the music they play (Ari Lennox!!!) and the art of the walls. It’s such a beautiful aesthetic and atmosphere. I can’t wait to bring my girlfriends.

Date Rating: 🔥🔥🔥 out of 5. You know that scene in Grown Ups when the wives are at the water park and staring at that fine dude? And then when he finally talks to them, he sounds like he swallowed helium? That definitely happened to me 😂 I soldiered on tho. August is a PR/design guy and DJ at my favorite bar. He does everything. I was honestly just excited to pick his brain about music and great cocktails. He has a tendency to cut me off or not let me talk but I hope it was from being excited. He goes to all these cool parties and concerts; the little rager in me was drooling. I know I say this all the time but I really really wanna be his friend.

The night ended and he asked if I wanted to continue the night back at his place. I sweetly said no. When he texted me when I got home he said “I hope I didn’t sound creepy when I invited you back” 1) you KNOW that shit is creepy so why TF do you do it? 2) there wasn’t a LICK of sexual tension at that table. You didn’t even compliment me or flirt when I got there, where did you get this idea from?

3) in an era where women are being abducted and sexually assaulted off of dating apps; it just really doesn’t make sense to ask unless there are overt hints that the night was leading there. If you want sex or to get physical on the first date, follow her lead. Now you look like a dummy and any romantic inclination I had towards you is dead.