After five consecutive bleh dates, my homie D, told me to make an Excel sheet with all the guys that took me on dates so far in 2019 and to find some type of pattern.
“There is no pattern, D. I am an equal opportunity dater.” But I did it anyway. I listed all the guys in somewhat chronological order and then rated them in categories. Was he charming and sweet? Ambitious? Socially aware? Funny or thoughtful?
It’s safe to say that every guy had some type of combination of these traits and only one had all of them (damn you, Kennedy). It was also interesting to see that the majority of these guys hardly got to a second date. Is there a term that’s not ghosting where someone just doesn’t contact you but you don’t contact them either? It feels like fading out? A lot of the guys and I just faded out. Texted or called every day before the date. The date was eh. Then the texting gradually decreased after. I want to assume that we both didn’t feel the chemistry and didn’t feel a need to formally address it. I hope…
3/4’s into this month long hiatus; I am completely content. I’ve spent a lot of time investing into myself. I’m writing more, learning Spanish again, working out, planning photoshoots. I think I’ve learned that I’m still banking too much on potential. At this point, I have an idea of what really excites me. I shouldn’t make exceptions thinking that it’s going to develop over time; because it hasn’t. When I do start dating again, I’m expecting more success. Wish me luck!